No More Xmas!


Jockitems___145_1165606498I’m tired of battling folks about the secularization of Christmas! It’s not only wearisome, it’s mind-bogglingly stupid!

Taking Christ out of Christmas is like taking the tires off your car and then having the whole family climb in for a Sunday drive. It doesn’t work. How long is our society going to be caught up in this ridiculous “Emperor and His Clothes,” politically correct culture?

I guess if you can’t beat’m you should just join’m, right?

Ok, I’m gonna give it a shot. Why don’t we call Independence Day, “Fireworks Day?” I’m sure there are some folks in England who still might get their feelings hurt about what went down in 1776!

While we’re at it we could change Mother’s Day and Father’s Day to “Parent’s Day.” They’re already doing this in the California school system—why should Ahhhhnold have all the fun terminating tradition? Let’s all have a crack at it! The options are almost limitless. Let’s see, we could change…

Labor Day to “Play Day,” so we don’t offend everyone who doesn’t really want to work…

Valentine’s Day to, “Significant Other Day,” because Saint Valentine was such a traditionalist when it came to marriage being between a man and a woman…

Thanksgiving to, “Entitlement Day,” because we don’t really need to be thankful for things we have a right to in the first place!…

We could change Easter to “National Bunny Day,” and everyone could exchange eggs (very carefully) with one another and buy pet rabbits…

We could change George Washington’s Day and Abraham Lincoln’s B-Day to “Presidents Day” so as not to offend other presidents who may have done little or even harmed our country, but at least—

Cross that one off…already been done.

We could change New Year’s Day to simply, “Year’s Day,” because we don’t want to offend the Old year?…

Columbus Day to, America Day, oops, not popular right now. How about “Hollywood Day” because I’m sure they’ll take credit for it in an upcoming film anyway!

Veteran’s Day of course, would have to go. Everyone knows those boys in Iraq are just there to secure our oil interests and our troops in Afghanistan just want to see far away places and try new and exotic foods (please tell me you can actually feel the sarcasm through your computer screen). We could call it “Sean Penn Day.” He seems to need recognition in the worst kind of way.

And why limit it to our traditional holidays? We could change our money from saying, “In God we trust,” to “Trust No one!” That seems more of a cultural fit right now.

Man, I’m on a roll! Somebody stop me!

But that’s just it, nobody will, because everyone’s afraid to rock the boat. Wanna know why?

Because it’s the Titanic.

Everyone knows it’s going down, but no one wants to actually play the role of the iceberg! So I’ll start.


Here it comes…

Dare I say it?!

I think I will…


Am I still here?

I’m alive!

Thank You Jesus!