Let’s Talk About Sex Baby!


I’m bringing sexy back!

Whenever we do a series at Southbrook on SEX people come out of the woodwork to hear it.

Seriously, it’s as though they haven’t heard anything on doing the funky love dance their entire lives! And, of course I’m good with that because we want to reach everyone we can with the extremely relevant words of God. And let me tell you something, when it comes to sex, God wrote the book!

We’ve been in the series for 2 weeks now, and it’s called, “Friends with Benefits” — it sure has a lot of people talking.

Yeah, there are those who talk about the outrageous title and haven’t even managed to get past their indignation with that, let alone the very frank discussions we are having regarding this very touchy (sorry, couldn’t resist) subject. But they are a minority and the ones who have attended the first 2 weekends are really seeing how much this intimate union involving one man and one woman (married) was (and is) one of God’s greatest creations. I for one would list it in my top ten things God thought up! And, no I will not tell you where it ranks inside the top ten. But I’ll give you a hint, I’m a man so where do you think it ranks?


I’ve also thoroughly enjoyed all the feedback and stories I’ve received about what God is doing in people’s lives as they rethink some of the ‘party line’ garbage our culture constantly jams down our throats. And one of the greatest lies to date is the one about the “benefits” in a “Friends with Benefits” relationship.

If this benefit is truly to be thought of as a gift than I say it’s the gift that keeps on giving—in a bad way!

It keeps on giving disease.

It keeps on giving lonely feelings.

It keeps on giving jealousy, sadness, rejection, anger and depression.

Yep, it’s the gift that never stops giving…until you’re dead.

Oh, that’s the final gift—when you wake up at the end of your life and have to search high and low for any real meaning to your existence. Sure, you had a large circle of so-called ‘friends’ but you now realize that the one thing you all discreetly referred to as a ‘benefit’ as also the one thing that – when taken outside of a marriage relationship between one man and one woman, kill any shot you ever had at true friendship.

By the way, yes I’m aware that I already mentioned the “one man and one woman” part, but it’s just that our culture keeps forgetting that part and I wanted to clear that up.

One man and one woman—inside of a marriage relationship. Not…

One man and one man,

Not, one woman and one woman,

Not one man and his personal harem,

Not one woman and her entourage of ‘boy toys,’

Not one man and his pet goldfish,

Not me and you and a dog named Boo,


Well, you get the picture.

But I also hope you get this. I’m not some uptight, prudish, Amish, pilgrimish pastor who merely spouts the party line. I believe this stuff because the happiest, most fulfilling marriages I’ve seen are always between 2 people living life as though God knows best instead of Howard Stern or MTV, Jennifer Lopez (who changes husbands more than she changes shoes), or George Clooney (who often puts down marriage because he (admittedly) is too selfish to make it work), Liz Taylor (thought I’d through her in for the older readers) or any number of other movie stars, therapists, TV talk show hosts and politicians who sound off as experts on love but model disastrous lives to back up their message.

I’m ‘smokin what I’m sellin’!

BTW, thank you for your honesty, George.

So, isn’t it time the church weighed in on this important topic?

I say yes, high time. MTV, classmates, friends, the internet and the motion picture industry are weighing in on the subject and their opinion (as a result of their efforts) now holds sway with a lot of young people. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Studies show that most (young) teenagers still put far more weight (ultimately – and even if they never admit it even under torture) in what their parents think than what Paris Hilton or Brittney Spears or the cast members of Real World Season 111 think. But that doesn’t last forever, and it has zero impact if you aren’t even talking to your sons and daughters, so…


A lot is at stake here. Talk to your kids. And share with others what’s working and what’s not.

And I’d love for you all to weigh in with us as well. In fact, I’m going to try to make it ‘worth your while’ to do so.

I feel a contest coming on. Here’s what I want you all to do.

Write a blog about the best thing(s) you (or your parents) ever did (a talk, a life lesson, a summer camp, the way you and your spouse modeled a healthy relationship, etc.) to help ensure that you or your young ones didn’t get swept up in the cultural current.

The best entry gets a night on the town on us (dinner, movie tickets). I’ll also share your inspiration in the last message of our “Friends with Benefits” series on the last weekend (provided it’s something God would approve of as well!). I’ll pick a winner at the end of the series (end of February) provided we have at least 20 people participate–call me cheap, I don’t care. Dates cost a fortune these days!

And just to keep this sane, here are the rules,

1. You must have a blog.

2. Write a post on your blog that tells others about the “mentoring moment(s)” — give us all the juicy details, please!

3. Include a link to today’s post. In other words, include the following link in the post you write, http://www.robsingleton.net/2008/02/15/lets-talk-about-sex-baby/

4. Have your post up by noon, Wednesday, February 27th.

5. Include a link back to this post in your post.

5. Begin the whole process by linking below. Please be sure to link the specific page that your entry post is on.

If you haven’t been to hear the first 2 messages in the “Friends with Benefits” series, you can go to our church website Southbrook Church and click on the link below the the word “AUDIO” that says podcast. It will take you to the Southbrook itunes podcast and you can look for the 2 “Friends with Benefits” messages in there. You don’t need an ipod to listen, the itunes software is free and you can listen to it right on your computer (after downloading and installing he free software from itunes).

* And don’t forget to check out my new favorite blog. “Confessions of the Preacher’s Wife” (yes, I’m bias). You can find it at www.michellesingleton.com or by clicking here.

You may need a blog to participate in the contest, but all you need is a computer to leave a comment. We would love to hear from each of you so let us know you came through by leaving a comment below.