Chaise Lounge Etiquette



My wife and I are on our 10 year anniversary trip.

It’s a 5 day trip I surprised her with (almost 3 years late – That really added to the surprise element. What can I say? It took me that long to earn the frequent flier miles). And it’s amazing how many times I see something that points out the sinful, selfish nature of mankind. Sometimes it’s so pathetic it’s comical. Today was one such time. 

This is one of those all inclusive spots that we are staying at and you’d think that alone would alleviate a lot of the demanding attitudes and self serving agendas people sometimes have. I mean, you’re gonna get fed, just show up and eat as much as you like. And you’ll get to do the water sports, just sign up and wait your turn. And you’ll get a chaise lounge by the water just— 

Oops, not so fast. When it comes to the chaise lounge chairs, apparently, ANYTHING goes.  

Today I watched yet again the frightening posturing that goes on in an secretive, ongoing civil war between the haves and the have-nots. Not the valid struggle between the obscenely rich and the downtrodden poor. No, sadly I am talking about something that would be better suited to Saturday Night Live.  

I’m talking about laying claim to any one of the limited chaise lounge chairs—even if you are not planning on using it that day at all.


Doesn’t matter.


These things are all the rage at this resort, and it’s the principle of the deal that matters most. It’s your territory, your fire hydrant, your little piece of turf, your—

Well, you get the idea. Just don’t try peeing on it in order to seal the deal. I saw a lot today, but thankfully not that one… Yet.

And I mean, “yet.” Today things got so out of hand with these two fueding families that I would not have been all that shocked if one of them ordered Junior to christen it right then and there. And I would only have been mildly surprised if that alone were to discourage their rivals from still fighting for a stake in that small piece of lucrative Lounge real estate.

Hardly the attitude that the apostle Paul said we ought to have in Philippians 2:3, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

This isn’t just talking about big things but so called little things as well—like lounge chairs. The fact is, if the love of Christ is flowing through you, then fighting over who gets a lounge chair closest to the pool wouldn’t even be on your radar.


But alas, it was on the radar of at least 500 people these last several days. There was even a giant conference (of around, ironically 500 people) from a party thing called, Southern Living. And I must say, they took the battle for the chaise lounge to a whole new level.


You see, my wife likes to get up early and go for walks when we are on vacation. Today she left a little late (for her — 7:00 am), but still pretty early for a resort where most people where in bed hung over. So, since that’s not us, we thought for sure we would beat the party crowd to at least 2 chaise lounge chairs at a minimum of a football fields distance from the pool.


Guess what?


Yep, all gone.


The Southern Living (and I need to clarify this — most of them were really nice people. Just really nice people obsessed with chaise lounge chairs) group sent out some of the older ladies (non-partiers) and got them to not only put towels on over 500 chairs, but also to patrol in shifts up and down the rows to make sure no one dared move one of the decoratively placed beach towels.


When Michelle returned we had a great laugh about it. Almost one of those deals where you laugh till you cry. The behavior was Saturday Night Live funny, but also Jerry Springer weird.


That’s the sinful nature for ya.


Know what else? At least half the chairs were never used. They were just claimed. Kinda like screaming out, “Shotgun” when you want the front seat of the car only to decide you weren’t going to go in the car after all.


I’m laughing right now as I type this.

People can be so funny at times.

Oh, by the way, we got 2 chaise lounge chairs only one row back from the pool. When a couple moved their stuff to pounce on an unguarded pair of chairs even closer—we pounced on theirs.


All in all, a great day.


We leave for home tomorrow but I think we’ll claim a couple chairs anyway just in keeping with the spirit of the whole thing!


It’s a dog eat dog world.


Don’t mess with my chaise lounge chair!