My wife, Michelle, is a softy. Upon further examination, she is was not entirely convinced it was the “Southern Living” group who descended upon the chaise lounge chairs like a swarm of locusts. I, on the other hand, am thoroughly convinced. If I were a lawyer, this would be the classic open and shut case. In fact, let me present the facts to you now and let you be the judge. But one thing first…

We met some very fun people from the Southern Living army, oops, I mean, tribe, no, no, clan—well, whatever. We even scuba dived with several of them. They are a blast. And they know parties. I mean, that’s their thing. They are party planners. So, if you ladies want to throw a little (or big) shindig, might I suggest the Southern Living party consultants? You won’t be disappointed—unless it’s an outdoor party and there are a limited number of chaise lounges!

But I digress. Back to the post. Laws of etiquette were breached and must be dealt with.

So, our last day (yesterday) was also the last day for nearly all of the Southern Living folks. Easy case, right? If there are chairs available and they (the S&L group) are gone—case closed! Let’s cruise on out to the pool and beach and see if the chaise lounge universe is back in alignment. And, just to be fair, I will provide photographic evidence for you all to be the judge. Sorry that I do not have it in the form of “Before and After,” but I do value my life, and wasn’t about to photograph one of the chairs in question during the actual time the locusts were descending. I was too concerned that one of the families would have had my camera seized as evidence in future litigation. So, alas, I only have the ‘after‘ for you—and one single photo from the day before that I quickly snapped after shouting out, “Look! Isn’t that Martha Stewart over there?!” and pointing in the opposite direction). However, I am convinced that you will find it quite persuasive in and of itself.

Rant: Another secondary reason for not tampering with the evidence was that many of these people got pretty creative with the territory project and piled things of great value on to the chaise lounge—I’m sure that in many cases the stuff on top was worth at least 10 chaise lounge chairs! In a few instances you couldn’t even see the chaise lounge underneath. I merely assumed there was a chaise lounge there. I half expected these people to back up their rented SUV’s and hook them up to the chaise-shaped U-Hauls in order to get the stuff back to the airport.

-End of Rant-

So, here are several shots on our last morning at 9:00 am (Remember, the day before this late a time would have put you right in the heart of the battle—far too late to even consider getting a chair).

 

 

Look at this next one. That’s me way back there. I could have sat anywhere!!

Okay, so wouldn’t you agree that Michelle’s case is growing weaker with each line you read? But I am not one to leave things dangling. Just like Tom Cruise in, “The Firm,” I will save the most damaging evidence (the final nail in the proverbial coffin) for last. First I have a few parting comments.

I’m a very competitive person (Duh). So, it was disheartening to be outmaneuvered by the party planners (however, ‘technically’ it was my slightly less competitive wife who was outmaneuvered, so I really didn’t lose!). But now, looking back I see several ways we could have had a fighting chance. It all did not have to end on that fateful Sunday at the battle of Punta Canaberg.

For one, (as I tried to explain to Michelle on the flight home) there were other large groups there at the resort. I mean, that’s why this trip was so cheap–this place caters mostly to large groups. Sure, these other groups were not the juggernaut that Southern Living was, but they were large enough (and disillusioned enough by having to put their towels on concrete) that we could have gathered the “Edward Jones” Financial folks (numbering close to 100) and the loosely affiliated computer consultant groups (maybe 50), and finally, the single family units and honeymooners (at least 400) <—admittedly the honeymooners might have taken some extra persuading but I think we could have convinced at least half of them that ours was a just revolution. And, as I went on enlightening Michelle, “We could have formed an alliance! We would then have had the numbers to mount an unstoppable counter-strike!”

She just rolled her eyes and returned to her book.

No respect.

But it doesn’t matter, because I will now present the surprise evidence–the ‘smoking gun‘ if you will. This is the picture that very nearly cost me my life—taken in true “Time Magazine” journalistic fashion—right from the front lines where the fighting was fiercest. When you see this, please keep in mind that this is the ONE CHAIR I was able to get a photo of—a single chaise in a virtual sea of chaises. What you are about to see was actually on chair after chair after chair after chair after… Read the rest of this entry »

3 Comments »

My wife and I are on our 10 year anniversary trip.

It’s a 5 day trip I surprised her with (almost 3 years late – That really added to the surprise element. What can I say? It took me that long to earn the frequent flier miles). And it’s amazing how many times I see something that points out the sinful, selfish nature of mankind. Sometimes it’s so pathetic it’s comical. Today was one such time. 

This is one of those all inclusive spots that we are staying at and you’d think that alone would alleviate a lot of the demanding attitudes and self serving agendas people sometimes have. I mean, you’re gonna get fed, just show up and eat as much as you like. And you’ll get to do the water sports, just sign up and wait your turn. And you’ll get a chaise lounge by the water just— 

Oops, not so fast. When it comes to the chaise lounge chairs, apparently, ANYTHING goes.  

Today I watched yet again the frightening posturing that goes on in an secretive, ongoing civil war between the haves and the have-nots. Not the valid struggle between the obscenely rich and the downtrodden poor. No, sadly I am talking about something that would be better suited to Saturday Night Live.  

I’m talking about laying claim to any one of the limited chaise lounge chairs—even if you are not planning on using it that day at all.

Doesn’t matter.

These things are all the rage at this resort, and it’s the principle of the deal that matters most. It’s your territory, your fire hydrant, your little piece of turf, your—

Well, you get the idea. Just don’t try peeing on it in order to seal the deal. I saw a lot today, but thankfully not that one… Yet.

And I mean, “yet.” Today things got so out of hand with these two fueding families that I would not have been all that shocked if one of them ordered Junior to christen it right then and there. And I would only have been mildly surprised if that alone were to discourage their rivals from still fighting for a stake in that small piece of lucrative Lounge real estate.

Hardly the attitude that the apostle Paul said we ought to have in Philippians 2:3, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

This isn’t just talking about big things but so called little things as well—like lounge chairs. The fact is, if the love of Christ is flowing through you, then fighting over who gets a lounge chair closest to the pool wouldn’t even be on your radar.

But alas, it was on the radar of at least 500 people these last several days. There was even a giant conference (of around, ironically 500 people) from a party thing called, Southern Living. And I must say, they took the battle for the chaise lounge to a whole new level. Read the rest of this entry »

4 Comments »

During the “One Prayer” series one of the messages was about how to acquire a characteristic most of us find in short supply.

Wisdom.

Pastor Wayne Cordiello, of New Hope Church in Hawaii gave the One Prayer message, “Lord, make us Wise.” It was probably my favorite out of all of the messages for it’s depth yet simple application and delivery. I found myself asking, “Who couldn’t follow this?” But guess what? I (and you know you do this too) still find incredibly boneheaded ways around it.

That’s when I need a little nudge in the right direction.

Well, it just happens that we can find that navigational system for tracking wisdom in the book of James—chapter three. In this chapter the characteristics of earthy wisdom are listed right alongside the characteristics of godly wisdom.

When our speech is motivated by Satan or even our own selfish desires. It will be full of…

• Bitter jealousy
• Selfish ambition
• Earthy concerns and desires. Unspiritual thoughts and ideas
• Disorder
• Evil

However, when your speech is motivated by God and His wisdom. It is full of…

• Purity
• Peace
• Consideration of others
• Submission
• Mercy
• Sincerity, impartiality
• Goodness

Pretty easy tracking exersize. Now all you’ll need is a little honesty.

P.S. If you have a Life Application Bible you can look in the book of James for more on this.

No Comments »